What Is Therapy? How to Prepare for Your First Session and How to Choose the Right Therapist
Many people consider starting therapy but feel stuck on the same questions:
“Does my situation ‘count’?”
“How do I begin—and what should I prepare?”
“How do I choose the right therapist?”
This post offers a clear, practical guide to help you understand what therapy is, what to expect in a first session, how to prepare (without over-preparing), and how to evaluate whether a therapist is the right fit.
1) What Is Therapy?
Therapy (counseling) is a professional, ethically guided relationship that supports you through meaningful conversations. You don’t need to be perfectly articulate or “have it all figured out.” You simply show up as you are.
Therapy is not about someone telling you what to do. It’s about helping you:
understand your emotions, thoughts, and patterns more clearly
build healthier ways to cope with anxiety, overthinking, low self-esteem, and relationship stress
practice boundaries, communication, and self-care
strengthen emotional resilience and self-trust
clarify what you value and make choices that align with who you are
You can think of therapy as a space to practice—where you can explore what’s hard, learn new skills, and feel supported while you grow.
2) When Is a Good Time to Start?
You don’t have to wait until you’re “at your worst.” Many people start therapy when a concern becomes repetitive, draining, or disruptive, such as:
anxiety, overthinking, sleep issues, physical tension
feeling emotionally reactive and then self-blaming
people-pleasing, fear of conflict, difficulty saying no
harsh self-criticism, low confidence, “not good enough” feelings
life looking “fine” externally but feeling heavy, empty, or stuck internally
wanting deeper self-understanding (values, boundaries, direction)
If you relate to any of these, therapy may be a helpful next step.
3) What Happens in the First Session?
A first session typically includes:
Understanding your concerns and goals: What’s been happening? How long has it been going on? How is it affecting you?
Establishing how you’ll work together: What kind of support do you prefer? What do you not want therapy to become?
Reviewing safety and structure: confidentiality, exceptions, policies, scheduling, cancellation, and communication guidelines
Identifying an initial direction: clarifying themes, offering reflections, and sometimes suggesting a small practice to begin
You do not need to share your entire story in one session. Therapy often starts by finding one “thread” and working from there.
4) How to Prepare for Your First Session
Preparation doesn’t mean writing an essay. Simple is enough:
1) Identify one main focus
Examples:
“I want to reduce anxiety/overthinking.”
“I want to communicate better in relationships.”
“I want to stop constantly doubting myself.”
“I want to feel more emotionally stable.”
2) Bring 2–3 concrete examples
Rather than “I’m anxious,” examples help therapy start faster:
When does it happen most?
What do you notice in your thoughts and body?
What do you typically do when it shows up?
What would you like to be different?
3) Clarify what kind of support you want
You can say things like:
“I’d like some tools and structure.”
“I want a gentle pace—no pressure to move too fast.”
“I want you to challenge me, but respectfully.”
4) Prepare questions you want to ask the therapist
5) How to Choose the Right Therapist
“Right fit” matters more than popularity. Consider these areas:
1) Credentials and licensing
Look for proper training, licensure/credentials, and ethical practice (confidentiality, boundaries, referrals when appropriate).
2) Experience with your concerns
Choose someone who has experience with the themes you care about: anxiety, overthinking, self-worth, relationship stress, trauma, etc.
3) Your felt experience: safety, respect, and being understood
Therapy is strongly influenced by the therapeutic relationship. Ask yourself:
Do I feel respected and understood?
Can I be honest without fear of judgment?
Do I feel safe enough to explore hard things?
4) Approach, style, and pace
Some therapists are more exploratory; others are more skills-based. Some are gentle; others are more direct. There’s no one “best” approach—only what works for you.
5) Practical fit
Cost, insurance, availability, and telehealth vs in-person affect your ability to stay consistent. Consistency matters.
6) Signs It May Not Be a Good Fit
Mismatch happens, and it’s okay. Potential red flags include:
you repeatedly feel dismissed, shamed, or labeled
boundaries feel unclear or not respected
you express your needs, but the therapist is unwilling to discuss or adjust
you consistently feel unsafe rather than supported
If you’re unsure, you can bring that uncertainty into session. A healthy therapy relationship can hold honest feedback.
Starting therapy isn’t proof that something is wrong with you. It can be an act of self-respect:
You deserve support—and you deserve a more effective, compassionate way to take care of yourself.
If you’ve been standing at the doorway for a while, you don’t need to be perfectly ready. You just need a starting point.
